


Sunflowers

by Strawbhannie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I have writers block, M/M, Unrequited, drable, hanahaki, im sorry, theres been a lot of gyuboo lately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:11:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15736518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawbhannie/pseuds/Strawbhannie
Summary: Sunflowers, bright, beautiful, demanding to be seen.





	Sunflowers

In an infinite amount of realities, in every world, at every time, Hansol wanted Seungkwan. 

 

Completely and entirely, he wanted his laugh, the way he threw his head back and his cheeks rose to meet his eyes. He wanted his hands and fingers curled around his own. He wanted Boo Seungkwan, from the top of his head all the way down to his toes, he wanted him so badly. 

 

If Boo Seungkwan was an ocean, Hansol was a fish, swimming endlessly in the vastness that was Seungkwan. Without the ocean he was purposeless, suffocated.  

 

Seungkwan was the color yellow, he was warm summer nights and dancing. He was the sound of the rain hitting your window, the smell of vanilla. He was sunflowers, tall and bright, beautifully demanding to be seen. He was everything that was soft and sweet and whole and good. 

 

Love found its way into Hansol’s heart, a vine wrapping around tightly, roots implanting themselves deep inside. The buds began to rise, filling the space in his lungs, with every inhale they made a home in his chest. 

 

Seungkwan was the sun, so bright and warm. With every smile the flowers grew and grew inside Hansol’s lungs. 

 

Intoxicating, lack of oxygen in his now crowded lungs causing him to float, feet replaced by shooting stars that sent him into a new galaxy, one that only consisted of Seungkwan, Seungkwan, Seungkwan. 

 

Everyone believed in something, maybe Hansol should of found A god like Joshua. Maybe Joshua’s god would have smiled down on him and blessed him with the only thing he ever wanted. Seungkwan or maybe he wanted to breathe again. 

 

For as much as he loved Seungkwan he hated him, he cursed every star, every angel, every sunflower the ripped its way out of his throat. He cursed Aphrodite and the whole idea of love. 

 

Hansol was so full of pain, but love still found it’s way to make room, he wished it away, prayed it away. He asked Joshua to ask his god, ‘Why did you make me love someone who can’t love me back,” Joshua told him God wasn’t a genie, and all things are meant for a reason. If only Josh knew of the flowers blooming in his chest, if only Hansol told him. 

 

Life wasn’t fair, or maybe it was. He was dying, filling from the inside out. Seungkwan was as beautiful and happy as ever. Seungkwan was in love, the sickening tooth-rotting kind. Seungkwan and Mingyu were happy, so happy Hansol couldn’t even hate them. 

 

But himself, oh he hated. 

 

He hated himself with a passion, he was disgusting who falls in love with your best friend. Your best friend who has a boyfriend,  your best friend who is happy and beautiful and everything that is good with the world. Who is already in love with someone else. 

 

Hansol was dying, on the inside on the outside. He couldn’t decide what was killing him faster the sunflowers in his lungs or Seungkwan. He knows he should have stayed away, should have gone to the doctors, but how could he move on from his Sunflower?

 

Boo Seungkwan was his sunshine, the warmth he felt from just being in the same room as him was worth every flower that clogged his airways. 

 

Some nights he was angry, so angry. He would scream until his scream were replaced with flowers, and his flowers were replaced by tears. 

 

He wanted Boo Seungkwan, God did he want Boo Seungkwan. 

 

But sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them, sometimes we love the wrong person. Hansol loved someone who was too bright too beautiful.  Boo Seungkwan was a star, the closer Hansol got the more of himself disappeared. Stars aren’t meant to be held forever, they're too bright to keep. But he could n’t just watch from afar. 

 

Sunflowers, beautiful, bright, demanding to be seen.  Boo Seungkwan was a sunflower, he was every sunflower that laid on Hansol’s floor, every Sunflower that filled his lungs bright, yellow, bloody. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble to help me get over my writer's block, regular fics coming back soon I promise! I might make a full fic out of this if people want to see it? but I've been thinking about this for weeks now. 
> 
> Come yell at me! @strawbhannie (Instagram & Twitter) HAPPY READING <3


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